Grief is a normal process that people go through when someone dies. There is no “normal” way to grieve as everyone grieves in their own way. Many factors can complicate the grieving process such as the suddenness of a loss, lack of social support, or the perception that the death was senseless or meaningless. Grief is not confined to the loss of a loved one, people may also feel grief when their pets pass away, when a romantic relationship or friendship ends, or when they lose a job.
Grief & Loss
Anger, Relief & Resentment
An individual may be more likely to experience some of these emotions under certain circumstances. For example, it is common to feel relief after someone passes away if that person has been suffering in pain for a long time.
Shock After Loss
It can be hard to believe that someone is truly gone. You may find it difficult to discuss the death, especially if the individual died by suicide.
Pressure to Feel Better
You may feel that you should be “over” your grief after a certain amount of time or are experiencing pressure from others in your life to move on. In reality, you may experience moments of grief throughout your life.
What Are Symptoms of Grief?
Looking at symptoms on the internet can be alarming. Please keep in mind that symptoms are viewed as one part of a broad picture involving many factors - the presence or absence of the listed symptoms does not mean you are or aren't experiencing grief.
Cognitive Symptoms
Trouble Concentrating
Fatigue
Apathy
Questioning Beliefs
Questioning Major Life Choices
Emotional Symptoms
Crying
Sadness
Feeling Detached/Numb
Spending Less Time With Friends/Family
Longing To Be With Loved Ones
Somatic Symptoms
Insomnia Or Sleeping Too Much
Weight Loss
Eating More/Less Than Normal
Symptoms of Prolonged Grief Disorder
Since grief is a normal experience it may be difficult to know when to seek treatment. Prolonged grief disorder is a newly proposed diagnosis and may provide you with some guidance as to whether it is time to seek therapy for your grief.
One year after the death of a loved one the individual is experiencing at least one of the following symptoms almost every day:
- Intense longing for the deceased loved one
- Constantly thinking about or remembering the loved one who has passed away.
At least three of the following symptoms have been present most days:
- Feeling like part of yourself has died along with your loved one
- Disbelief about the death
- Avoiding people, places, or things that remind you of the death of the loved one.
- Intense emotions regarding the death such as sadness, anger, bitterness
- Difficulty returning to usual activities after a loved one’s death, for example experiencing a lack of interest in spending time with friends or family, engaging in hobbies, or making plans for the future
- Feeling numb
- Believing that life is now meaningless
- Intense loneliness
This does not mean that everyone who continues to grieve past one year is experiencing prolonged grief but rather that these acute symptoms continuing past a year may indicate that an individual has stalled in their grieving process. Many people continue to sometimes feel sad regarding their loved one’s death, spend some time remembering fond moments, or feel intense emotions at certain times, for example on the anniversary of their loved ones death.
Treatment for Prolonged Grief
The regular grieving process is not something to be fixed or cured it is something to be acknowledged, felt, and processed through. The feeling of grief will naturally become less intense and frequent over time and the individual will start to make meaning of the loss. If you need a safe place to grieve and sort through all the emotions that accompany grief sharing with a therapist may be helpful.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Cognitive behavioural therapy teaches clients to recognize how their thoughts impact their feelings and behaviours and to help them evaluate their thoughts to ensure they are in line with the facts of a situation. Cognitive behavioural therapy for grief involves exposure of the client to the story of their loved one’s death.
Complicated Grief Treatment
This treatment involves focusing on processing the loss and on returning to usual functioning. Processing the loss includes accepting the reality of death and changing the relationship with the person who died. Returning to usual functioning includes working toward goals and regaining a sense of competence and satisfaction in life without the loved one who passed away.
Therapists Who Can Help
Check out our experienced team of therapists specializing in grief and loss and find the perfect fit for you.
Centre For Grief & Healing
Find a collection of grief tip sheets to help yourself or others navigate through the journey of grief.
Friends in Grief
This service from Bay Gardens Funeral Home provides opportunities for those who are grieving to share their experiences of loss and receive support from peers.
Bereaved Families of Ontario
BFO aims to create a caring, non-judgmental peer support and educational environment for individuals and families who are grieving.
