Coming Out

“Coming out of the closet” is a phrase that describes the self-disclosure of LGBTQ+ people about their sexual orientation or gender identity. Identities are complicated, and it’s okay to take your time to figure things out. Many LGBTQ people also feel confused about the definitions of terms like sex, gender, orientation, identity, expression, and attraction. It’s okay if you are not the expert on everything about LGBTQ when you come out to someone.

There can be many emotions associated with coming out: guilt, shame, anxiety, pride, ambivalence. There’s uncertainty about how our family, friends, colleagues will react to the coming out. Due to the discrimination prevalent in many societies and communities, it’s normal to fear the backlash of coming out. Many parents react negatively when children first come out to them. Some even threaten to cut off emotional or financial support. Not being accepted by family members can be very hurtful. Sometimes, coming out in a religious or cultural community may even mean being ostracized – a high price to pay. Coming out may even have legal and financial implications. It makes sense why it’s hard for LGBTQ people to come out and how stressful it is to be in the closet.

There are online support groups for LGBTQ people who are considering coming out. Schools and some companies have LGBTQ-affirming clubs. There are liberal-oriented spiritual communities that are affirmative. It’s important to find other peers who can give you support during this transition. Additionally, there may be government-funded support like financial, psychological, and legal aid to help people deal with the aftermath of coming out.

Some strategies can be used for the coming out. Usually, people test the water to see if a person will potentially be supportive. Choose the best time and location for the conversation. If talking doesn’t fit you, you can also use other forms of communication like text, letter, or email. There’s no right or wrong way to come out. But make sure you be prepared for possible bad reactions and ensure your safety. Talking to therapists who understand LGBTQ diversity can help you discern or navigate.